Where in the World is Alf? (Part XVIII)

Following Part XVII

June 1-7, 2003

Sunday, June 1, 2003 (pre-journal)

This just in from my friend, Andy:

Correction on the "Beal Strip Club" night: It was the "Cheetah II," I believe, in western Pompano. If I remember correctly, it was amateur night and we secretly entered her in the contest. I'll never forget the look on her face when the girl came over to her and said: "you're up next." Yep, those were the "good ole days" for sure.

Sunday, June 1, 2003

Tonight Watcharee and I had dinner at Stephani and Robin's house.


Yikes, for the past couple of days I must have allowed 'maudlinity' to interfere with my march through the Mütter Museum:

  1. Lordosis (curvature of the lower spine).
  2. Multple Enchondroma in a Male: "Development began at 2 years old. Now affects every joint in his body. He is 20 years old, walks with crutches, wears home-made cloth shoes."

Monday, June 2, 2003

These two pieces from the Mütter Museum tie in nicely with Don Bull's display of corkscrews with horn handles:

  1. "The woman is Madame Dimanche, or Widow Sunday. She lived in Paris around the beginning of the nineteenth century. The horn on her forehead attained a length of 9.8" by her eighty-second year, having begun to form six years earlier. It was successfully removed by Br. Joseph Souberbeille (1754 -1846), a noted French surgeon."
  2. "The arm: shows a horn (cornu cutaneum) growing from above the wrist."

(Ah, Alf, anything from Patpong? Hey, anything ... really, anything ... even the elephant!!!)


Tuesday, May 3, 2003

Reader and good friend, Rande ... (obviously bored with specimens from the Mütter Museum) ... just now sent me this photograph of his 'friend'. Since Rande has just returned from a long trip around the world this picture could have been snapped almost anywhere ... it even could have been taken in his hometown of Seattle. But, it looks Aussie to me.

For Mütter fans we have:

Wednesday, June 4, 2003

It's "Best Six" time! Over the next week I am going to parcel out my Best Six corkscrews for 2003.

This is the first one:

Best Six of 2003, First Entry

  1. The only one in the six without a proper screw…or even a supporting co-blade ... allows the cork to be removed awkwardly. A rocking movement doesn't work; nor does an after-penetration twist. As a further inconvenience this little engine never passes unnoticed through airport carry-on security. [The Bull Bible describes it as "A French single blade cork lifter marked BTE S.C.D.G."]

["Alf, for those of us who have a more ... ah ... corporeal interest in screws ... well ... can you link us to Amma, Gift and Ohmy, and their teasing introduction to the Patpong Corkscrew Club?"]

Of course!

Thursday, June 5, 2003 (pre-journal)

I found this little entry while looking for something else ... but, what do you think ... is it the same 'thing' that was spinning around my Bangkok neighborhood a couple of years ago.

Anyway, this is what this person figured the red machine was:

Red vinyl revealed

We asked: "Has anybody got any idea at all what this is all about? Seen meandering down Khao San Road just before New Year, this is a bicycle covered in red vinyl, just like the person riding it."

Brandon replied: "I asked around and he apparently sells drinks. Uses the red to draw attention. A lot of people ask him why he has a red vinyl bike - if it had logos and you knew what was for sale, would you ask???"

Clever marketing ploy, but I reckon he drinks his profits staving off dehydration.

What do you think, is this the same vehicle that we saw back on March 22, 2001?

Thursday, June 5, 2003

Here is the second corkscrew in my march through My Best Six for 2003:

Best Six of 2003, Second Entry

  1. This is the Traifor. Cheaply constructed using unsophisticated stamping technologies, it still commands a good price whenever it appears on e-Bay. Either few were made and sold OR (more likely) they were viewed as being so ugly as to not merit any more after-purchase attention than an Elko potato peeler.

["Alf, how about a shot of Gift preparing for her first Patpong Corkscrew Meeting?"]

Is a bathroom shot OK ... semi-nude?

["For sure!"]

You got it

["How about one of all three just before the meeting started?"]

The one of them sort of rubbing shoulders?


I think you mean this one.

["That's nice ... but, can you focus in on Gift?"]


PS to June 5th:

This is a tribute to the greatest DA that Stanislaus County ever had ... and one fucking-super-great judge ... but more than anything else: he is a good guy:

And, the clock never 'tocks' ... No, it never stops (for the best trial lawyer in California) for my friend:

From: Peter J. Hixxxx
To: Peter Hxxxx
Date: Thursday, May 29, 2003 2:58 PM
Subject: In the Name of the Rose


Once upon a time in Modesto ...

There really was a Camelot in the District Attorney's office - brief, exciting, and like many things viewed from a sufficiently great distance glorious and nearly devoid of defects.

It was my privilege to serve during a part of this golden era under the supervision of Hugh Rose III who rose rapidly from Deputy District Attorney to Chief Deputy District Attorney. It was a challenging position.

The other District Attorneys probably required more supervision than the genial Chief provided, but he avoided serious scandals and major debacles. Some particular memories endure.

We all found ourselves in court against a pro per defendant who had more jury trial experience than all of the DA’s staff combined.(*) I recall one drunk driving trial which he defended by arguing that it was not alcohol but battery acid that he had consumed to excess on that particular evening.(**)

There was an older defense attorney (***) who officed in the hall ways and was occasionally recommended to the newly charged defendants by a sympathetic judge. He enriched the language of the law by asserting in his final arguments that his client was wrapped in the "purple cloak of innocence."

Roland Hall, often in modest rebellion against the DA, occasionally went too far and found himself prosecuting such major criminal acts as shooting game out of season, which frequently featured an August jury trial in the store front Patterson Justice Court with exhibit A exuding a smell so ripe that the deliberations were quite brief.

Alf Erickson kept a four foot plant on his desk with a rubber lizard perched to leap on the wary victims who entered his office.

In those pre computer days all of the complaints were indexed on 3x5 cards. the DDA issuing a complaint would fill out a form, give it to the secretary who would fill in the charging language form the 3 x 5 card. Alf planted an index card, filled in a complaint form and gave it to the secretary who, without question or hesitation typed the following complaint:

That on or about March 3, 1967 one Rebecca Smith did violate Section 632(a) of the Canon Code, to wit, Heresy, by paying false worship to a golden calf in or about the public square in downtown Modesto at the hour of noon.

John Griffin, Jr. contributed his own share of mischief and then showed all of the attorneys that there was a good life by inviting us to his father’s house to admire the swimming pool that made those summer months bearable. He graced the office with a brief presence before himself becoming such a successful lawyer and then, like so may of his colleagues, donning the black robe he still wears.

Frank Damrell brought glamour to the office before taking his considerable trial skills to the court room for his own firm. He also mastered the art of legislative advocacy and now (all genuflect) presides on that highest of benches, the Federal District Court.

Hugh Rose endured all of this, enjoyed it more than most and participated on his own behalf. I remember fondly his jeep, his dogs, his lovely wife Willie and most of all that disarming and genuine smile that demonstrated his inability to be annoyed and his genuine love of life.

After a distinguished career (is there any other kind at a retirement dinner?) he is about to enter judicial financial heaven, known as mediation where he will reap the reward of his judicial excellence. His experience, personality and charm will serve him well and I genuinely expect that he will quickly rise to the upper tier of this new profession. I wish him well and would appreciate it if he would provide some of his old friends with a phone number or some place where we can make a reservation. I do not seek Stanislaus as a venue, but should that be unavoidable, or if Hugh is willing to travel, or even if he is not, it is my intention to become a client of my former leader.

It was a great group. Alf moved to Florida, I returned to the Bay Area and everyone else became a judge.

I am truly sorry not to be there. Please know that I am there in spirit.

From Mary and myself, our very best wishes.

(*) Henry Lee George was his name....and he was a 'street person'...but no lawyer ever wanted to tangle with him. He beat me. He beat most lawyers in the DA's office. And, he deserved every 'win'.

(**) I mean ... what could you say? When the MPD or the SSO brought up a PC 647f case with Henry Lee George as a defendant, well ... Hugh Rose would say "Who wants to issue this?"

(***) Mark Joseph! I lost my first jury trial to this man. I deserved the loss: I didn't know an 'objection' from a ... well, from an 'anything'. The jury was 'out' for less than 30 minutes before they told the defendant that he could 'walk'. I liked Mark ... but, I think you always like the guys who beat you first ... and really beat you hard. But, more than anything: Mark always had younger girls.

Friday, June 6, 2003

This is #3 ... the half-way point on my trip through My Best Six for 2003:

Best Six of 2003, Third Entry

  1. Everyone has the 'legs'. Most are of the 'gay '90s' variety, showing candy striped leggings and mid-calf boots. This one is 'skin-toned': whether by design or by a shortage of design, I don't know. Recently one bare 'legs' appeared on e-Bay claiming to be made of ivory; it sold for a healthy premium over the $300 - $400 range that the more common banded ones demand. I don't know if my piece is made of Ivory, but I doubt it.

["I hate to be a pest, Alf ... but, how about that picture of Gift standing on top of the bed ... do you still have it?"]

Hold on ... I'll look ......

Yes, I do ... but it (she) is mixed in with a few of the other girls ... all in various states of dress or undress. But I think this is the one you want.

June 6th (sort of gross) PS:

"Private Harvey was wounded at the Battle of Chancellorsville, May 3, 1863, by a fragment of a shell. The right eye was destroyed, the right superior maxilla was fractured, a fragment was chipped off the lower jaw and the right cheek was frightfully lacerated. A loss of substance of the cheek is still unrepaired, and liquid and saliva escape from it. There was a slight deafness and facial paralysis on the right side. Died reported from unknown causes December 9, 1869. Photographed on June 22, 1865; from a series of photographs taken at the Army Medical Museum to document treatment during and after the Civil War."

Saturday, June 7, 2003

This is the 4th....only 2 to go:

  1. Not many people have just a 'leg'. This bronze one comes with an unflattering screw that pivots out of the kneecap and folds away with its point disturbingly close to the 'privates'.

Best Six of 2003, Fourth Entry

["Alf, what about the picture of the girls playing with their new Patpong Corkscrew Club tee-shirts...can you dig it up?"]



A Thai reader suggests corrections to some things about Si Quey:

Subj: Si Quey
Date: 6/7/2003 8:37:50 AM Eastern Daylight Time
From: bixxxxx@comcast.net
To: corkscrew@aol.com

FYI, Si Quey was not executed by Hanging.

21 Bullet holes on the heart, that's what killed him. In Thailand we either chopped your head off or be shot. I have never heard of hanging.

I don't recall he rapes anyone, he killed by eating theirs guts especially kids.

Next: Part XIX

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