The authorities at corkscrew-balloon.com seek the world's assistance in tracking down the person depicted above. She is needed for a special project that is extremely important to the future of our mission. (This project will greatly benefit her as well.)
If you have any information concerning this person's whereabouts, please let us know at once! This is urgent! No clue is too small.
Her last known residence is China (possibly on the mainland ... possibly offshore). She was last seen (by us, anyway) on February 18, 2000, near The Far Eastern Plaza Hotel (a Shangri-La property) in Taipei. At the time, she was dressing a pig. We do not know if she does this regularly, or if she was on a special assignment of some sort.
She could be anywhere in the world; that is why we are sending our request out to the entire planet by means of the Internet. This site receives visitors from more than 75 countries. She could be in any one of them.
Watch the girls on the bus!
Look closely at your grocery checkout girl!
Print this page and go to a crowded area (such as a shopping center or a sporting event). Hold the picture up next to everyone's face and see if you can find a match!
And if by some chance you happen to see a pretty girl with a dead pig ... for God's sake contact us at once!!
Please send all information to email@example.com.
We will attempt to provide further information as soon as it becomes available.
URGENT ... BULLETIN ... A SIGHTING? ... JUST IN ...
Dearest reader ... great news!
My friend, Don Bull, may have photographed our Miss Chopsticks ... yes, right here in America!
According to Bull she is traveling under the name of Miss Fu.
What do you think? Is it her? If not, will she do anyway?
And then Don's sleuthing went, perhaps, a bit "over the top" ...